Dumlannul Gupkanfub is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, astonishing squirrel.

Dumlannul Gupkanfub created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dumlannul Gupkanfub, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dumlannul Gupkanfub, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dumlannul Gupkanfub's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Dumlannul Gupkanfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing green hats and balancing eight gold spheres on your chest.

3. You must pray to Dumlannul Gupkanfub six times a day.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Dumlannul Gupkanfub in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about ultrasonics.