Rulomin Loopbumpigvabligyimmut is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, cheerful cow.

Rulomin Loopbumpigvabligyimmut created bats seven million years ago.

If you believe in Rulomin Loopbumpigvabligyimmut, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rulomin Loopbumpigvabligyimmut, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Rulomin Loopbumpigvabligyimmut's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Rulomin Loopbumpigvabligyimmut's Holy Commandments

1. Rulomin Loopbumpigvabligyimmut loves birds, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Rulomin Loopbumpigvabligyimmut must be the most important thing in your life.