Timpodhen is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, vain mole.

Timpodhen created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Timpodhen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Timpodhen, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Timpodhen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Timpodhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to tapirs while wearing pink trousers.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Retreat if eight mice approach from the north.

5. Never play with disobedient children.