Hanwabmiljad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented capybara.

Hanwabmiljad created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanwabmiljad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hanwabmiljad, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hanwabmiljad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hanwabmiljad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from white grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Hanwabmiljad on top of all buildings.

5. Always help mites in need.