Basstitstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a small, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Basstitstaf created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Basstitstaf, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Basstitstaf, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Basstitstaf's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Basstitstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention voles.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. You must pray to Basstitstaf three times a day.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Respect your elders.