Ganstafpombet is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, happy penguin.

Ganstafpombet created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ganstafpombet, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ganstafpombet, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ganstafpombet's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Ganstafpombet's Holy Commandments

1. Ganstafpombet loves bats, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must pray to Ganstafpombet five times a day.

4. Never wear pink jumpers.

5. Do not covet oxen.