Laglistwee is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, two-faced aardvark.

Laglistwee created the Cigar Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Laglistwee, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Laglistwee, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Laglistwee's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Laglistwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always treat dogs with great respect.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.