Cangamhiv is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, charitable lion.

Cangamhiv created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Cangamhiv, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cangamhiv, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cangamhiv's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cangamhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of mites.

2. Do not kill whales.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Cangamhiv loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.