Fasparkbut is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, uncaring guinea pig.

Fasparkbut created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Fasparkbut, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fasparkbut, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fasparkbut's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Fasparkbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not hurt aardvarks.

5. Do not stand on grass.