Cumquillrenpommippanlab is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witless donkey.

Cumquillrenpommippanlab created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cumquillrenpommippanlab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cumquillrenpommippanlab, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cumquillrenpommippanlab's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Cumquillrenpommippanlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to cats while wearing brown tights.

2. You must love Cumquillrenpommippanlab.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not chop down trees.