Hatcedquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a large, emotional narwhal.

Hatcedquaf created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Hatcedquaf, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hatcedquaf, it will turn you into a puffin.

Hatcedquaf's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Hatcedquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always treat otters with great respect.