Cedvolflaglipsom Minxuccen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty elephant.

Cedvolflaglipsom Minxuccen created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cedvolflaglipsom Minxuccen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cedvolflaglipsom Minxuccen, he will be mildly annoyed.

Cedvolflaglipsom Minxuccen's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cedvolflaglipsom Minxuccen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near shrews while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your legs.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always stare at clouds.