Begpomcadcebtofbittoflap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, fussy crab.

Begpomcadcebtofbittoflap created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begpomcadcebtofbittoflap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Begpomcadcebtofbittoflap, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Begpomcadcebtofbittoflap's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Begpomcadcebtofbittoflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Put Begpomcadcebtofbittoflap first in all things.

5. Erect five gold sculptures of Begpomcadcebtofbittoflap on top of important buildings.