Rulsasgab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unfair beaver.

Rulsasgab created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rulsasgab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rulsasgab, she will not care.

Rulsasgab's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Rulsasgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never mention pigs.

3. Never think about spacetime near monkeys while wearing mauve shorts and balancing three iron spheres on your feet.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help hamsters.