Jiplistbiss is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, resourceful parrot.

Jiplistbiss created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiplistbiss, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jiplistbiss, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jiplistbiss' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Jiplistbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tortoises.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Hide from indigo horses for they are unholy.