Narwabtip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciful badger.

Narwabtip created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narwabtip, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Narwabtip, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Narwabtip's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Narwabtip's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Narwabtip nine times a day.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help sick manatees.

5. Do not keep five squirrels in a large pit.