Nildunbess is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fussy elephant.

Nildunbess created the planet Saturn two years ago.

If you believe in Nildunbess, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nildunbess, she will jump up and down on your head.

Nildunbess' most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nildunbess' Holy Commandments

1. Nildunbess loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Always help sick sharks.

5. Never talk about black holes.