Jentencan Vonsaswik is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, all-powerful fairy.

Jentencan Vonsaswik created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jentencan Vonsaswik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Jentencan Vonsaswik, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jentencan Vonsaswik's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Jentencan Vonsaswik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never feed lentils to snakes while wearing white kilts.

4. Rats are not to be trusted.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.