Bontamlat is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish hydra.

Bontamlat created parasitic wasps six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bontamlat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bontamlat, he will turn you into a hamster.

Bontamlat's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bontamlat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bontamlat.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always obey Bontamlat's priests.

5. Never go into green rooms.