Sasmuthot is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, almighty otter.

Sasmuthot created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasmuthot, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sasmuthot, he will turn you into a sheep.

Sasmuthot's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sasmuthot's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not hurt nematodes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. You must never eat lemons.