Bopponfontarp is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome rhinoceros.

Bopponfontarp created the Tadpole Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bopponfontarp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bopponfontarp, she will turn you into a snail.

Bopponfontarp's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bopponfontarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near geese while wearing violet dresses.