Femnurbopgofjanbastyarpshav Mithasxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful parrot.

Femnurbopgofjanbastyarpshav Mithasxuc created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femnurbopgofjanbastyarpshav Mithasxuc, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Femnurbopgofjanbastyarpshav Mithasxuc, he will torture you forever.

Femnurbopgofjanbastyarpshav Mithasxuc's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Femnurbopgofjanbastyarpshav Mithasxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink alcohol.