Sabsasjapzakcum Lakgoncad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair lobster.

Sabsasjapzakcum Lakgoncad created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabsasjapzakcum Lakgoncad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Sabsasjapzakcum Lakgoncad, it will jump up and down on your head.

Sabsasjapzakcum Lakgoncad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Sabsasjapzakcum Lakgoncad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sabsasjapzakcum Lakgoncad.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Do not speak about nuts.

4. Never paint your legs violet.

5. Always treat doves with great respect.