Quafpadrut is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow chinchilla.

Quafpadrut created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafpadrut, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quafpadrut, she will turn you into a dog.

Quafpadrut's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Quafpadrut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never talk about dolphins.