Jenwab is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, compassionate yak.

Jenwab created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenwab, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jenwab, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jenwab's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Jenwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near ducks while wearing pink ear rings and balancing eight gold spheres on your hands.

2. Jenwab loves seals, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not speak about peas.

4. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

5. Put Jenwab first in all things.