Mobquafcab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, weak duck.

Mobquafcab created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Mobquafcab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mobquafcab, it will turn you into a goat.

Mobquafcab's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Mobquafcab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never hop near voles.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. You must love Mobquafcab.