Danonthiv is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing porpoise.

Danonthiv created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danonthiv, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Danonthiv, he will curse you with boils.

Danonthiv's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Danonthiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

4. Erect five silicon sculptures of Danonthiv on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ducks while wearing black boots.