Cangartafnab Saddimfun is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fussy meerkat.

Cangartafnab Saddimfun created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cangartafnab Saddimfun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cangartafnab Saddimfun, he will manifest in front of you.

Cangartafnab Saddimfun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cangartafnab Saddimfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Never wear trousers.