Capsistonk is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, stupid wolf.

Capsistonk created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capsistonk, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Capsistonk, it will come to you in dreams.

Capsistonk's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Capsistonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not take Capsistonk's name in vain.

4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.