Negzogbud Yamxenveen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, duplicitous snail.

Negzogbud Yamxenveen created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negzogbud Yamxenveen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Negzogbud Yamxenveen, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Negzogbud Yamxenveen's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Negzogbud Yamxenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not covet oxen.