Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered eagle.

Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad, it will turn you into a worm.

Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Quagrillsin Tomhintarg Flatvanwad's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Never paint your feet red.

5. Never wear coats.