Wadlarngep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish cat.

Wadlarngep created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Wadlarngep, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wadlarngep, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Wadlarngep's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Wadlarngep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never leap in the presence of monkeys.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Wadlarngep in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Wadlarngep on top of all buildings.