Vabomtbag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, humane slug.

Vabomtbag created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Vabomtbag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vabomtbag, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vabomtbag's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Vabomtbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Vabomtbag loves ants, so they must be respected.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never hurt monkeys.