Larncudbifnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, sage walrus.

Larncudbifnutt created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larncudbifnutt, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Larncudbifnutt, it will refuse to believe in you.

Larncudbifnutt's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Larncudbifnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Run away from gray bats, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about ducks.