Bogtarpkan Padhenlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, egotistical rhinoceros.

Bogtarpkan Padhenlarp created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtarpkan Padhenlarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bogtarpkan Padhenlarp, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bogtarpkan Padhenlarp's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bogtarpkan Padhenlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Never bounce in the presence of manatees.

4. Bogtarpkan Padhenlarp loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Do not speak about peas.