Yarlnulltap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, weak dog.

Yarlnulltap created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnulltap, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarlnulltap, it will turn you into a rock.

Yarlnulltap's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Yarlnulltap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt cats.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Never talk about fire.