Wanyogyokjapbem is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unjust scorpion.

Wanyogyokjapbem created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanyogyokjapbem, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Wanyogyokjapbem, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wanyogyokjapbem's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Wanyogyokjapbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.