Hinjanhad is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, almighty rat.

Hinjanhad created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinjanhad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hinjanhad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Hinjanhad's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hinjanhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to voles while wearing turquoise skirts.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.