Komtagfat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, awesome lobster.

Komtagfat created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Komtagfat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Komtagfat, he will cry a lot.

Komtagfat's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Komtagfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near whales while wearing pink ear rings and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your arms.

2. Erect a giant black sculpture of Komtagfat in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Retreat if three squirrels approach from the north.

5. Never paint your chest violet.