Capsabdad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unthinking tapir.

Capsabdad created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capsabdad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Capsabdad, he will think nothing of it.

Capsabdad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Capsabdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Never feed bananas to seals while wearing mauve corsets.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.