Hasyartzed is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unjust frog.

Hasyartzed created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasyartzed, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hasyartzed, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hasyartzed's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Hasyartzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.