Fenpib is a god.

He takes the form of a small, witty penguin.

Fenpib created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenpib, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fenpib, he will turn you into a rat.

Fenpib's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Fenpib's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fenpib.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

5. Never think about stars.