Zenvincudpit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciless meerkat.

Zenvincudpit created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenvincudpit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zenvincudpit, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Zenvincudpit's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Zenvincudpit's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zenvincudpit.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.