Nutmipken is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating hare.

Nutmipken created Asia four years ago.

If you believe in Nutmipken, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nutmipken, he will turn you into a duck.

Nutmipken's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Nutmipken's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to pigs while wearing gray ear rings.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about thermodynamics.