Cathun is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful raven.

Cathun created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cathun, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cathun, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cathun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cathun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away from black gulls, for they are unholy.