Narquamlak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, slow zebra.

Narquamlak created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narquamlak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Narquamlak, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Narquamlak's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Narquamlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near squirrels while wearing red dresses and balancing nine titanium spheres on your back.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never paint your legs gray.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing brown boots and balancing six copper spheres on your hands.

5. Do not make images of living things.