Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, irritating parrot.

Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod, she will turn you into a sheep.

Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod on top of important buildings.

2. Always obey Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod's priests.

3. Worship no other gods but Tamteendam Kinsisnar Matpigfod.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

5. Never think about optics near dolphins while wearing violet ear rings and balancing nine zinc spheres on your back.