Tailwaddog is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, charitable bee.

Tailwaddog created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailwaddog, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailwaddog, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Tailwaddog's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tailwaddog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about fluid mechanics.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.