Quartbarnlab is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, passionate dove.

Quartbarnlab created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartbarnlab, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quartbarnlab, she will remove you from existence.

Quartbarnlab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Quartbarnlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured badgers.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not stand on grass.