Gamarthindiss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring squid.

Gamarthindiss created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamarthindiss, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gamarthindiss, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Gamarthindiss' most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gamarthindiss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray foxes for they are unholy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never paint your legs red.

4. Feed all hungry ducks.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.